| Sunday, May 18, 2008 |
| Sink Holes |
There is a slow steady pestering in the back of my mind. The thought is one of sink holes. Maybe it was that news story I saw a few weeks ago. I image it is more of the fact that I tend to see associations in most things. I suppose I want to believe that everything in life is linked.
So sink holes...
It makes me think about how sometimes you think you are walking on solid ground. Suddenly the ground can drop right out from under you.
What association do I make with that and my life?
Seems like that happened to my writing. My heart says it wants to but my fingers just don't. Feels like a sink hole just dropped all the songs and stories from my heart. Maybe its more of the feeling of hanging on. There is no time for passions when life moves so fast.
I can say that and almost believe it. Life is filled. Some parts amazingly so. My boys are flourishing. My oldest was announced as Valedictorian of his class. He maintained the number one ranking every semester and will graduate with a 99.25 GPA. My youngest continues to grow into his own man. I went on a field trip with him and his class to the Bronx zoo. What a precious young man he is.
Life is filled but we do what we really want to don't we? So I wonder on passions. Maybe writing isn't one of mine. Maybe I don't know what my passions really are... (besides my boys...) Maybe that's the real sinking feeling.
Sink holes...
...dropping all sorts of things and people from under the solid ground you think you walk on. |
posted by Michael @ 9:15 PM  |
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| Sunday, May 11, 2008 |
| Mother's Day |
It is always a nice place to be when you can tell somebody how much you admire and love them and you see that it produces a glow of warmth in them.
Mother's Day and Christmas. Birthday's and Anniversaries. Special days that bring forth memories of those special bonds that we have created. They are all opportunities that allow us to open our hearts and let them flow with our feelings. How is your heart today?
Back beyond the bend of the river time I had wondered on the way we shelter ourselves from others. The masks we wear and all that philosophical crap. Our comfort zones and the way we play at what society has dictated as proper. I had wondered if we lived a life with a wide open heart if it would lead to a connection with others that would ring true and clear like the bell of truth that rings loudly in my soul when I face real truth. I even tried living that way and endured the pains I knew that would come with that honesty.
What I didn't know then that I can clearly see now is that a wide open heart can be a selfish act. I know I am a selfish man and I have difficulty seeing that sometimes what I believe is good and giving may not be that way to others. What I know now that I did not know then is that the reception of love and admiration is the real gift. Giving is easy. It carries no burden. It requires nothing but flight.
So social orders dictate that I can release my love an admiration in flight today for my own mother. She is truly an incredible lady that I love and admire dearly.
I LOVE YOU "WOW" (see my mom is creative and special. She always called herself the upside down MOM)
Social orders also dictate that I can casually wish ALL Mothers a happy Mother's Day. Only politeness can be released from my heart.
To all of you who qualify:
Happy Mother's Day!
Now if there were a few other people that my heart holds in greater esteem. If I indeed loved and admired them, social orders dictate that I have to keep my mouth shut. Not to be unfair to me... no... to be fair to you. Does anybody know if there is a Friendship Day? Maybe it would be proper to say what my heart holds on that day?
Happy Friendship Day! |
| posted by Michael @ 10:00 PM |
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| Friday, May 09, 2008 |
| Time is a River |
I see time as a river sweeping us all along. Parts of the river are wide and deep and the journey is slow and peaceful. These parts are usually straight and wide open affording us a view that stretches for years or sometimes decades. It is easy to forget the power that pulls us. Time like the river meanders and flows through all sorts of terrain. Parts will twist and turn like a lazy summer day. Parts will rush and crash through rocky slopes reminding us of the power in its hands. Huge boulders do nothing but protest in the path of the river. There is no stopping time. Maybe someday man will tame time like he has learned to tame a river; turning rivers into lakes behind a dam. Pools of time at his demand...
For now, time is still wild. It flows where its heart desires. I cannot say where its journey began or where it will flow. I only know that it will continue to pull me along.
we can see far into the journey of our past and glimpse the journey of our future. There are places where the river of time twists and turns |
| posted by Michael @ 9:27 AM |
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| Wednesday, April 30, 2008 |
| Back Roads |
I took the back roads into work this morning. It takes me longer but there is a relaxing way about it. It started as a camera thing. You can't take many photos going seventy miles an hour. So after a long day at work when I felt overwhelmed and stressed I would take the long way home. I'd have my camera in hand in hope of finding some inspiration. There were times when I was at the right place and the right angle and I would try to photograph the amazing beauty that God had painted. In my heart it felt as if he had painted them just for me.
If you check out my flickr pages you can see some of the photos I took.
Lately my camera has been quiet but I still take the back roads from time to time. I settle into the quiet and let the peace fill me up. I keep hoping for inspiration. Maybe something to capture with my camera. Maybe something to wrap up in some words. Maybe just a piece that I can slip into my pocket.
This morning I faced a lot at work. I left early trying to get a jump on stuff. When I hit the end of my road I turned left instead of right. A right turn takes me to the highway. A left turn meanders around some lakes and follows the river to my destination. I took the long way. I wondered if I was looking for inspiration or just needed to breathe in some quiet. I wondered on our choices in life. Why and when we decide to turn left instead of turning right. The times we use the highway and the times we choose the back roads.
It was just what I needed and as I got to work I was fully charged and ready for all that faced me. |
| posted by Michael @ 1:18 PM |
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| Thursday, April 24, 2008 |
| Pocket rocks |
Life has a way of sometimes giving you a narrow path to walk. You need to shuffle your feet at times to keep that precarious balance that prevents you from losing yourself over the edge. Concentrating on such a narrow path gives you the illusion that you are walking alone. You spend a lot of time watching your feet and lose some of the splendor of that view that caresses you along your journey. The solitude does give you room for pause however and sometimes those things you need the most are there when you need them the most.
I pick up rocks and hold them as treasures possibly proving that there is still a lot of little boy in me. Although a whole discussion reigns in that statement I'll pass it on by so I can show you one of the treasures that I had recently found.
While listening to a student at one of the college panels we recently attended a student talked about the dynamics of certain relationships. His comments were golden and the one that I stuck in my pocket was simple and direct.
"You have a limited amount of advice equity with people. Use it wisely" |
| posted by Michael @ 12:21 PM |
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| Sunday, April 13, 2008 |
| Turn the corner |
Take a walk around the block. Feel the way your foot falls on the sidewalk and listen to the sounds of all that life going on around you.
Sometimes things progress like the pattern of a typical block in a suburban community. The rows of houses like the hypnotic strum of your windshield wipers on a hot summer night with a light mist in the air. The sounds and motion trying real hard to pull you into their rhythm.
My life has been a bit like that. The steadiness a blessing and a curse. My gait fast enough to keep me from wandering off the side of the street I am walking.
The distance I have covered has made some things appear clearer and some things fade in the background. There is a sense of strength in me as well as a weariness that I have never known. I turn the corner and I leave some things behind. I know some steps that I need to take but before I do I will take a moment to brag about where I stand.
My son, who was always tall, has yet again made me proud. He will be going to an Ivy League school this fall. The one that has the name of a color. The school did what they could to make it possible. All of us together will do what we need to so that he makes that journey.
I am so damn proud. |
| posted by Michael @ 7:29 PM |
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| Tuesday, April 08, 2008 |
| My al dente Life |
Governmental Condemnation... A fancy term that allows the government the ability to steal from the poor and give to the rich just so they can hold their hands out and receive their share from the powers that be.
You may know of this process by it's sister name... Eminent Domain.
Although both are still theft in my mind, one at least pretends to be about the greater good. Eminent Domain professes public use of the land... A road, a park, school... etc.
Governmental Condemnation is purely... rip from the hands of one man and give it to another. Scatter some coins and call it even. Over 10,000 cases of condemnation have occurred since 1998. Take away a person's home so another can build a mall or apartment buildings. In one instance a church was targeted and they bowed to the pressures of the government and accepted another tract of land as trade.
I would scream but I still don't have the lungs for it. I do understand the feeling though as I laid in a pile of blankets sweating and feeling like I was at batting practice and I was the the ball.
The one thing about being sick and hugging your bed for hours at a time is that there are moments when you are perfectly between sleeping and being awake. It is that place where your thoughts flow freely.
It was during one of these times that I had this thought that I wanted to learn how to read spaghetti. Yes... to be a mystic of sorts and read that strand of spaghetti that was thrown against the wall to test al dente.
Mike the spaghetti reader. |
| posted by Michael @ 12:50 PM |
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